I is for Iguana

IWhen I was planning my approach to the A to Z Challenge I had the first five letters figured out:

            • Armadillo was a story I’ve wanted to share for a while,
            • Beaver was just too obvious.
            • Cougar – again, it’s right there.
            • Dog, of course and then
            • E – the immediate and only animal anyone thinks of – Elephant.

And so I figured the theme would work. The rest would somehow just magically flow. But I forgot to consider the tough letters.

Let me ask you –

how many animals do you know, real or imagined, beginning with X?

Anyone?

No. I didn’t think so. And then, as if X wasn’t enough, I have to conjure up words of wisdom for Yak the very next day. And before both, I have Q. It will be Quail. There is nothing else. Not sure how amusing I can make a quail, but we will see soon enough.

But I’ve procrastinated long enough. I’m in danger of losing the interest of my hard-won team of followers (hello Mum). If you’ve already left me …. then why am I still rambling?

Okay, here we go. The best I can come up with for I is Iguana. So I keep telling myself:iguana

Iguana write a blog post about a big lizard. 

Iguana try to make it funny for my readers.

Iguana wish I never started this A to Z challenge!

And so to the story:

A few years back I had a pet iguana. He was creatively named Iggy Pop. I had always fancied having an exotic accessory in life, and Iggy fit the bill perfectly. Being a herbivorous critter I didn’t have to contend with live crickets (even though I’m English, I’ve never been a big cricket fan). His feeding requirements even led me to improve my own dietary intake. Might as well cook for two as for one, right?

Iggy was a very placid, sociable little fellow. He and I bonded well. As summer approached I would take him out to the boardwalk. He liked to travel on my shoulder and was really friendly. I had hoped he might help me with the ladies, but I quickly found out that my kind of lady prefers a cute puppy. The girls who were attracted to Iggy were pretty scary characters, most with more inky etchings than a school desk. But that probably says more about me than them.

So life went on with Iggy and me, until a curious incident some months later. I came home to find Iggy acting very much out of character. He had stolen a steak I had left out for dinner, and he had slurped down the dregs of a beer I had left the night previously.

In a panic I rushed him over to my vet. Once there, the vet examined Iggy, smiled knowingly and slipped me a Viagra tablet. I was at a loss as to how this would cure Iggy of his curious behaviours.

The vet said, “Don’t worry – I’ve seen this many times. Iggy is just suffering from a reptile dysfunction.”

You can go now. Thanks for listening.

 ******************

Posted in response to the AtoZ Challenge – I (in case you were wondering)

Iguana pic found at viralblips.com

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “I is for Iguana

Add yours

  1. Haha, very cute. And your thoughts on coming up with animals that start with X and Q is funny. My theme is YA books. I, luckily, found an author with a Q last name, and for X, there’s a book called The Avery Shaw Experiment. Hey, sounds count. 😉

    Like

  2. Yes, I too am only just beginning to realise the difficulty of some of these letters in our alphabet (and I’m struggling with K!!) I was however looking forward to a post from you on the Quetzel or my childhood favourite the Quagga – slightly disappointed to see Quail (although of course it could be Dan and therefore will no doubt be hilarious).

    Like

    1. Hmmm. Methinks I was too transparent. Obfuscation shall return (or not, for then I would be clearer in my misintentions). I’m now half-way in my writings, hoping to keep my peeps entertained right to the end! Thanks for following.

      Like

  3. Har har har… (my fave joke was the cricket one though). Hmmmm, I’m pretty cute without tatoos and I would have investigated a guy with an iguana on his shoulder! 😉 Anyway, love the post (and the photo is hysterical). I’ve got my list of Xs, but haven’t figured out which one I actually have photographs to work with.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: