Coded Favours

The world of dating was always fraught with challenge. Girls had their own secret codes between each other, and replies to innocuous questions might be loaded. Still worse was the innocuous answer to a loaded question. I painfully recall being asked by a group of 14 year old girls, “what’s your favourite colour / food / TV show (you get the picture), only to find this answer revealed some previously unknown (and often unheard of) sexual predilection or personal flaw. Somehow I managed to survive this rite of passage through those painful years of puberty.

But now, we have a whole new codex to negotiate . Should I ever find myself back on the dating trail, there’s a hidden code to be discovered and mastered. The mysteries of online dating have created a veritable smorgasbord for the educated serial monogamist. For the uninitiated, though, matters have evolved with a complexity to rival the later series of Lost. Every category of the human psyche can be explored and discovered for those in longing for lust or love. Consider the embarrassment of the religiously inclined but naive dater who declares an interest in LSD rather than LDS. But that’s nothing compared to the fun lover with a GSOH who confusedly asks for a GLBT. Declaring an interest in BBC certainly has nothing to do with intellectual British television, and that same intellectual declaring an MBA would find themselves in deep water in some circles, likely the same places where dogging has nothing to do with pets.

I dread ever having to open myself up to the dating world, and hope I never do. But I’m thinking, if I find myself back there again I would want to get straight to the point. So for absolute clarity, I’m going with SWM WLTM YAF, HWP NSA PNP, maybe a dash of SM for spice.

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